Free from Depression and Suicidal Thoughts

I’d battled depression on and off over the years, but 2020 was the darkest time I’ve ever had. I felt like I was drowning in a ferocious storm as wave after wave tossed me around. On top of the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic and being separated from the people I love, I was getting hit by one negative situation after another. Eventually, I felt my heart completely shatter.

I sank into deep depression. Overwhelming pain haunted me, leading me to beg the Lord for death. For 4 whole months, I cried every single day, sometimes multiple times a day. I found it difficult to get out of bed to shower, eat, or brush my teeth. Somehow, I still managed to get up and go to work every day although I really didn’t see any point in doing that. I just wanted the pain to end. It felt like my mind was deteriorating, and I was dying.

I don’t really know when things changed for me specifically, but I know that six months later, I began reading Pastor Prince’s book Give Me This Mountain. At first I found it really difficult to believe what God was saying about who I am and to see that His promises are true for me personally. As I continued to stick it out and kept reading the book, my mind started to change.

I began to see more and more of my Father’s heart of love and compassion toward me and my situation. I felt Him loving me into wholeness. The Lord began restoring relationships I thought were too far gone to be salvaged. He also blessed me and gave me favor at work when I least deserved it. He was showing me that He is trustworthy and nothing is impossible for Him!

Suddenly, I found myself claiming every promise I read in Scripture and declaring them over my situations, believing He paid for my peace of mind and healing in my heart and emotions by dying on the cross. The more I saw Jesus, the more the wrong beliefs I didn’t even know I had started falling off.

I am so ecstatic to share that not only am I no longer depressed, but I am also filled with joy! The more I hear about how completely forgiven I am and that I am the righteousness of God in Christ not by my performance or obedience, the more the weight and pressure just melt off effortlessly. Now I am constantly hungry to hear more about Jesus! I’m also truly blessed to be a part of Grace Revolution Church in Texas. Praise the Lord. Thank You, Jesus!

Madyson Downs  |  Texas, United States