Personal Stories

I’ve had very bad panic and anxiety attacks since I was about 12 or 13 years old. When I was 14, I was put on Xanax, a narcotic pill that is very addictive.

Pastor Prince, I want to thank you for the blessed truths you have brought into my life.Two years ago after the birth of my son, I started to find it hard to cope.

I grew up in a legalistic environment. We were taught to ask for God’s forgiveness each time we sinned to avoid going to hell. We were also taught that we could lose our salvation and that kept us sin-conscious.

My wife had contemplated suicide because I kept failing to keep the promises I made to her. It seemed like the more I struggled to do things right, the more I ended up doing those things wrong.

I am a pastor with one of the churches here in Nigeria. Since my salvation, I’ve always subconsciously rebelled against legalistic teachings. There was always a lingering feeling in my spirit that God is not the stern and intolerable dictator that some people make Him out to be because I’ve experienced the love and mercy of God even in the times when I’ve failed woefully.

My children were raised in a Christian home and saved at a young age. A couple of years ago my 20-year-old daughter left home, stopped communicating with our family, and ventured into drugs, cults, and other inappropriate behaviors. She was also suffering from anxiety and panic attacks. It was devastating to see her like that because if you knew her, she was the sweetest, most beautiful daughter anyone could ask for.

About 18 months ago, I lost my boyfriend in an accident. When I got the news he passed away, I had a nervous breakdown. I felt like I couldn’t breathe and move anything in my body. When I reached home, I went straight to bed to read my Bible but while reading, I threw it across the room yelling, “How can God let my boyfriend die?” From that point on, I stopped believing in God even though I grew up in a Christian home and knew all about the miracles of God.

I was diagnosed with streptococcus infection (a bacteria that causes disorders such as strep throat, pneumonia and bloodstream infection) and experienced unbearable pain in my head, hands and feet.

Pastor Prince, there was a period in my life where my Bible study time was so lifeless and dry. I would read the Word but couldn’t get much out of it. I started to feel condemned and guilty and stopped reading the Bible for a long time.